wat bout pragnant strippers??
never play flip cup with pint glasses
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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