My hair reeks of homosexuality.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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