Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
