I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
it glows. i had to have it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
