You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
