discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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