I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
