Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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