I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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