Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
