I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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