better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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