Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
