Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
