grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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