He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
