in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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