I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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