If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
