woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
