It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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