Can Purell be used as lube?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
