It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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