oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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