Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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