hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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