i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We're not piercing ourselves today.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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