I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My feet surprised me
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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