I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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