I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
