capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
