can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
