Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
