That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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