My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
