In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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