so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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