**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
