You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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