I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
