we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
