the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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