I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I don't deserve a penis
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
