I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
