I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
