I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
What a dumb baby whore.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
