I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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