I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
PANTIES FOUND
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
