Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It's shark week go big or go home
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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