He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It was confusing and full of hummus
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
