He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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